If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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