Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
