$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My feet surprised me
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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