You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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