Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
A bitchslap is in order.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
