also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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