And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
did you just send me my own nude
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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