i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
