i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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