Are we in a gay sports bar?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.