you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?