Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
