What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
