I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
