I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
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Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
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It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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