bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
