i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just high enough for therapy.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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