Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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