Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
