What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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