So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
