ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
