do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
