eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
