Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The power of my boobs compel you
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
