Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
