Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
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they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
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I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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