hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
