That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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