Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
