You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
