At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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