Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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