Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize