I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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