that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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