You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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