Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
