No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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