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How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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