I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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