Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
