I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
