There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
