I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
