Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
