I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
