Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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