between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
