Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
