i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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