stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
