how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
