how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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