he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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