I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
