Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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