Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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