honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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