the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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