Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
