i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
