waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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