Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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